Up in heaven, the lord our God sits behind his desk, looking tersely at some papers on his desk. He was frustrated with the sad state of the world today and he aimed to do something about it. He had a wall of televisions on in the background and a goofy Japanese game show caught his eye as he looked up from his desk. He watched it for a few minutes and then buzzed his secretary on the intercom.
"Mavis can you come in here for a moment?" he asked her with the voice of heavenly authority.
"At once lord my God," Mavis said with the efficient tone of a veteran secretary. She entered God's office and the prim and proper dark haired and eyed woman in the stylish skirt suit and glasses looked small in the vast confines of the deity's office. It took her about five minutes to walk the distance between the office door and God's desk and she was a little out of breath when she got there.
"What is it, lord my God?" she asked him when she had caught her breath.
God looked at her and said, with a sigh," The World's too messed up to continue, Mavis. All you have to do is watch the evening news to see that. So I've decided to end the world and start over with a saving remnant of about a million of the most worthy people on Earth. And I'm going to do it in the manner of a Japanese game show. "
Mavis started and said, "Really, sir? I don't think Satan will be too happy to hear this. He's been doing good business in souls ever since Reality television became popular. I don't think he's just going to sit idly by and let you jeopardize the good thing he's got going."
"It doesn't matter what he thinks. The world has to end and that's how it is going to be. Now I need you to do some research on game shows and find me the people to make it happen. I think I'll call it Super Fun Apocalypse Hour. Get on it right away." God dismissed Mavis with a wave of his hand and she let out a sigh, turned on her heel, and began the long walk out of God's office.
God went back to watching the televisions, shaking his head sadly.
Down in Hell, Satan sat at his desk looking at the soul returns for the past month. Things were going great for Lucifer Morningstar ever since the Reality Show genre had arrived on television. People would say how they would sell their souls for a shot at a reality show and one of his representatives would appear and tell them it could be done. It was that easy. Oddly enough, he had Psy's song Gangnam Style on in the background and was quietly singing along with it as he did his business. It was halfway through the song when he heard the sound of a demon clearing his throat from in front of his desk. He looked down and saw a rather nervous looking minor demon in a rumpled grey suit standing before him.
"What is it Irving?" he asked the demon without actually looking at him
"That's Eugene, sir. Ah, it's come to my attention that God is going to end the world and start over again," the demon said with a nervous voice that broke like a kid going through puberty.
"What?!" Satan exclaimed angrily.
"It's true, sir. He's going to do it in the manner of one of those annoying Japanese game shows you hate." Eugene braced himself for the explosion or dismemberment he expected, but it didn't happen.
"What the here is God playing at? He knows the Apocalypse is a mutual decision between both of us. We both have to decide to start the end of the world. The proper criteria have to be met. I haven't even started on the birth of the AntiChrist yet. That freaking deity's gone over the edge this time. I can't let the moron who kicked me out of heaven ruin my soul racket now that we've got a good turn over in souls. We've got to stop that idiot before it's too late."
Eugene thought for a few seconds and smiled slyly. "We could always put a couple of ringers on the show. They could be disguised as guests and could sabotage the show from within. I think your daughter and one of the damned souls would be sufficient to stop God's mad plan."
Satan looked down at Eugene and he winced nervously. Then Satan smiled broadly and Eugene let out a soft sigh of relief." That's a perfect idea, Irving. My daughter Jenny will be the perfect ringer to stop that idiot God's half baked plan. We can get some lost soul peon to help her but it will be her show. Good plan, Irving."
"That's Eugene, sir," Eugene said a nervous smile.
"Whatever. Get on it right away, Irving or I'll have your arms pulled off and beat you senseless with them," Satan said with a frown.
"Right away sir," Eugene croaked nervously. He turned quickly and rushed out of the office. Satan picked up a tablet like device from his desk. He turned it on and called up a list of the lost souls who could be trusted with the job. He let out a sigh and shook his head as he worked.
This could take a while. A long while.
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