As a special treat for my sixteen loyal fans, I'm doing a series of posts called All The Ladies In My World showcasing all of my fictional girlfriends. You see, I know I'm damaged goods. Actually I'm more than damaged goods, I'm Katmandu after the earthquake. So fictional characters and dolls are the only girls who will love me despite my flaws. The first up will be the League of Legends character I love, Jinx. She's my lovely little engine of destruction.
Mayhem Ace.
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Taking a Busman's Holiday.
Certain things have conspired to make me feel burnt out and blue so for the time being I'm taking a break form blogging to work on a Monster High fanon concept on Deviant Art I hope will become popular enough to become a group. So if you don't hear from me for a while that's why.
Friday, August 16, 2013
Super Fun Apocalypse Hour: Prologue.
Up in heaven, the lord our God sits behind his desk, looking tersely at some papers on his desk. He was frustrated with the sad state of the world today and he aimed to do something about it. He had a wall of televisions on in the background and a goofy Japanese game show caught his eye as he looked up from his desk. He watched it for a few minutes and then buzzed his secretary on the intercom.
"Mavis can you come in here for a moment?" he asked her with the voice of heavenly authority.
"At once lord my God," Mavis said with the efficient tone of a veteran secretary. She entered God's office and the prim and proper dark haired and eyed woman in the stylish skirt suit and glasses looked small in the vast confines of the deity's office. It took her about five minutes to walk the distance between the office door and God's desk and she was a little out of breath when she got there.
"What is it, lord my God?" she asked him when she had caught her breath.
God looked at her and said, with a sigh," The World's too messed up to continue, Mavis. All you have to do is watch the evening news to see that. So I've decided to end the world and start over with a saving remnant of about a million of the most worthy people on Earth. And I'm going to do it in the manner of a Japanese game show. "
Mavis started and said, "Really, sir? I don't think Satan will be too happy to hear this. He's been doing good business in souls ever since Reality television became popular. I don't think he's just going to sit idly by and let you jeopardize the good thing he's got going."
"It doesn't matter what he thinks. The world has to end and that's how it is going to be. Now I need you to do some research on game shows and find me the people to make it happen. I think I'll call it Super Fun Apocalypse Hour. Get on it right away." God dismissed Mavis with a wave of his hand and she let out a sigh, turned on her heel, and began the long walk out of God's office.
God went back to watching the televisions, shaking his head sadly.
Down in Hell, Satan sat at his desk looking at the soul returns for the past month. Things were going great for Lucifer Morningstar ever since the Reality Show genre had arrived on television. People would say how they would sell their souls for a shot at a reality show and one of his representatives would appear and tell them it could be done. It was that easy. Oddly enough, he had Psy's song Gangnam Style on in the background and was quietly singing along with it as he did his business. It was halfway through the song when he heard the sound of a demon clearing his throat from in front of his desk. He looked down and saw a rather nervous looking minor demon in a rumpled grey suit standing before him.
"What is it Irving?" he asked the demon without actually looking at him
"That's Eugene, sir. Ah, it's come to my attention that God is going to end the world and start over again," the demon said with a nervous voice that broke like a kid going through puberty.
"What?!" Satan exclaimed angrily.
"It's true, sir. He's going to do it in the manner of one of those annoying Japanese game shows you hate." Eugene braced himself for the explosion or dismemberment he expected, but it didn't happen.
"What the here is God playing at? He knows the Apocalypse is a mutual decision between both of us. We both have to decide to start the end of the world. The proper criteria have to be met. I haven't even started on the birth of the AntiChrist yet. That freaking deity's gone over the edge this time. I can't let the moron who kicked me out of heaven ruin my soul racket now that we've got a good turn over in souls. We've got to stop that idiot before it's too late."
Eugene thought for a few seconds and smiled slyly. "We could always put a couple of ringers on the show. They could be disguised as guests and could sabotage the show from within. I think your daughter and one of the damned souls would be sufficient to stop God's mad plan."
Satan looked down at Eugene and he winced nervously. Then Satan smiled broadly and Eugene let out a soft sigh of relief." That's a perfect idea, Irving. My daughter Jenny will be the perfect ringer to stop that idiot God's half baked plan. We can get some lost soul peon to help her but it will be her show. Good plan, Irving."
"That's Eugene, sir," Eugene said a nervous smile.
"Whatever. Get on it right away, Irving or I'll have your arms pulled off and beat you senseless with them," Satan said with a frown.
"Right away sir," Eugene croaked nervously. He turned quickly and rushed out of the office. Satan picked up a tablet like device from his desk. He turned it on and called up a list of the lost souls who could be trusted with the job. He let out a sigh and shook his head as he worked.
This could take a while. A long while.
"Mavis can you come in here for a moment?" he asked her with the voice of heavenly authority.
"At once lord my God," Mavis said with the efficient tone of a veteran secretary. She entered God's office and the prim and proper dark haired and eyed woman in the stylish skirt suit and glasses looked small in the vast confines of the deity's office. It took her about five minutes to walk the distance between the office door and God's desk and she was a little out of breath when she got there.
"What is it, lord my God?" she asked him when she had caught her breath.
God looked at her and said, with a sigh," The World's too messed up to continue, Mavis. All you have to do is watch the evening news to see that. So I've decided to end the world and start over with a saving remnant of about a million of the most worthy people on Earth. And I'm going to do it in the manner of a Japanese game show. "
Mavis started and said, "Really, sir? I don't think Satan will be too happy to hear this. He's been doing good business in souls ever since Reality television became popular. I don't think he's just going to sit idly by and let you jeopardize the good thing he's got going."
"It doesn't matter what he thinks. The world has to end and that's how it is going to be. Now I need you to do some research on game shows and find me the people to make it happen. I think I'll call it Super Fun Apocalypse Hour. Get on it right away." God dismissed Mavis with a wave of his hand and she let out a sigh, turned on her heel, and began the long walk out of God's office.
God went back to watching the televisions, shaking his head sadly.
Down in Hell, Satan sat at his desk looking at the soul returns for the past month. Things were going great for Lucifer Morningstar ever since the Reality Show genre had arrived on television. People would say how they would sell their souls for a shot at a reality show and one of his representatives would appear and tell them it could be done. It was that easy. Oddly enough, he had Psy's song Gangnam Style on in the background and was quietly singing along with it as he did his business. It was halfway through the song when he heard the sound of a demon clearing his throat from in front of his desk. He looked down and saw a rather nervous looking minor demon in a rumpled grey suit standing before him.
"What is it Irving?" he asked the demon without actually looking at him
"That's Eugene, sir. Ah, it's come to my attention that God is going to end the world and start over again," the demon said with a nervous voice that broke like a kid going through puberty.
"What?!" Satan exclaimed angrily.
"It's true, sir. He's going to do it in the manner of one of those annoying Japanese game shows you hate." Eugene braced himself for the explosion or dismemberment he expected, but it didn't happen.
"What the here is God playing at? He knows the Apocalypse is a mutual decision between both of us. We both have to decide to start the end of the world. The proper criteria have to be met. I haven't even started on the birth of the AntiChrist yet. That freaking deity's gone over the edge this time. I can't let the moron who kicked me out of heaven ruin my soul racket now that we've got a good turn over in souls. We've got to stop that idiot before it's too late."
Eugene thought for a few seconds and smiled slyly. "We could always put a couple of ringers on the show. They could be disguised as guests and could sabotage the show from within. I think your daughter and one of the damned souls would be sufficient to stop God's mad plan."
Satan looked down at Eugene and he winced nervously. Then Satan smiled broadly and Eugene let out a soft sigh of relief." That's a perfect idea, Irving. My daughter Jenny will be the perfect ringer to stop that idiot God's half baked plan. We can get some lost soul peon to help her but it will be her show. Good plan, Irving."
"That's Eugene, sir," Eugene said a nervous smile.
"Whatever. Get on it right away, Irving or I'll have your arms pulled off and beat you senseless with them," Satan said with a frown.
"Right away sir," Eugene croaked nervously. He turned quickly and rushed out of the office. Satan picked up a tablet like device from his desk. He turned it on and called up a list of the lost souls who could be trusted with the job. He let out a sigh and shook his head as he worked.
This could take a while. A long while.
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Super Fun Apocalypse Hour.
I am going to start posting a serialized novella on my blog called Super Fun Apocalypse Hour. God wants to end the world in the manner of a goofy Japanese game show. Satan doesn't want him to do it because he's getting more business from humanity since the rise of Reality T.V. The broken hearted game show host wants to end the world permanently. Jesus, not wanting the world to end at all, enlists the help of the most dangerous man alive, James Thomson, to stop the apocalypse. This is Bizarro fiction filtered through the obscure satire Americathon. I have already posted a piece of the prologue on my Face Book account and will start posting it here very soon.
Friday, July 19, 2013
An Essay On A Sad State Of Affairs.
Last year my mother and I had an encounter with a career con-artist who abused our trust and tried to steal from us. What she didn't know was that somebody else had tried the same thing earlier and failed at it due to a stupid mistake. So my mom was able to catch her at it. I thought I was so savvy and good at judging people, but I fell for her lies hook, line ,and sinker. This caused me to not be able to trust anyone to help me except then one person I knew and trusted implicitly. Then I took a bad fall the Sunday after Thanksgiving when I developed a sudden and quite scary weakness in my legs. It turns out I had another bad skin condition and this was similar to an incident my mom had four years ago. The hospital stay had subsequent round of physical therapy taught me to trust people to help me again. I now have a wonderful assistance person who constantly goes the extra mile for me and is a happily married father of an adorable baby boy. The con-artist was taken to trial and convicted. While it wasn't the verdict I wanted, at least she won't be hurting anyone else. But this has brought up something that is troubling me.
Recently the credit cards t my mom's bank, the one I'll be using once my finances are straightened out, were hacked. This is an roadblock in my financial situation because I don't want my money to be stolen by some hacker ring. I've read an article about modern day hacking and computer security so I know a little about how it works. I don't think my money will be safe until after this situation is fixed. But this situation has brought up two points which have really affected my mindset and my will to write. Both things were pointed out to me very strongly in no uncertain terms.
The first was that due to an incident involving money in my past I couldn't be trusted with my own money. The second was that due to an incident in somebody else's past, that I should consider certain things as "too good to be true" and not trust them. I was lectured like I was a naïve five year old who's being told not to get into the van with the man who offers me candy. I used to think I was allowed to make my own decisions and give people he benefit of the doubt. But apparently in the wake of the con-artist's abuse of my trust that is no longer true. And that is causing me to second guess everything I do, even writing. So until I can figure this out and stop being insecure about everything I will be taking a break from writing. I will still blog and correspond with my friends on Facebook but all work on my projects will stop until further notice. I'm sorry, but this is the way it has to be. I can't write until I'm confident in my abilities again.
James Thomson.
Recently the credit cards t my mom's bank, the one I'll be using once my finances are straightened out, were hacked. This is an roadblock in my financial situation because I don't want my money to be stolen by some hacker ring. I've read an article about modern day hacking and computer security so I know a little about how it works. I don't think my money will be safe until after this situation is fixed. But this situation has brought up two points which have really affected my mindset and my will to write. Both things were pointed out to me very strongly in no uncertain terms.
The first was that due to an incident involving money in my past I couldn't be trusted with my own money. The second was that due to an incident in somebody else's past, that I should consider certain things as "too good to be true" and not trust them. I was lectured like I was a naïve five year old who's being told not to get into the van with the man who offers me candy. I used to think I was allowed to make my own decisions and give people he benefit of the doubt. But apparently in the wake of the con-artist's abuse of my trust that is no longer true. And that is causing me to second guess everything I do, even writing. So until I can figure this out and stop being insecure about everything I will be taking a break from writing. I will still blog and correspond with my friends on Facebook but all work on my projects will stop until further notice. I'm sorry, but this is the way it has to be. I can't write until I'm confident in my abilities again.
James Thomson.
Friday, July 12, 2013
30 Day Monster Girl Challenge.
I've decided to take a break from Under The God to take the 30 Day Monster Girl Challenge. I will be writing a short short story for the next thirty days, each dealing with a different monster girl who will be a character from another project I've been working on. I have the first story already written on my Tumblr blog and I will repost it here on Monday. This will allow me to work on my dedcipline snd focus for my larger projects. I'll see you on Monday.
James Thomson.
James Thomson.
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
An overview of Under The God
Under The God is a mixture of the gods and goddesses of world mythology and the old dark ones of the Lovecraft mythos stories of H.P. Lovecraft and the other authors who followed him and built on it. It will be spun through the blender that is my brain and spun out in a hopefully fresh new take. It will be a tale of oppression, rebellion, romance , family , humor, action, adventure, and rock and roll. The characters will range from gods and goddesses, to humans, demigods , elder gods imps, fantasy races, anthropomorphic animals, and monsters. It will probably take up the next years , as I have a lot of story to get through. It will be broken up into several story arcs of varying lengths and the first one will be The Kids From Yesterday and will tell the story of Sonya Thulhu , her best friends, qnd the other children of the gods and other mythological beings and their lives after the overbthrow of C'Thulhu and thethree sisters by Set and his allies.
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